200 days down, 200 days to go

We're safely back in Bangkok after 24 incredible days in Myanmar! I'm working on uploading a ton of photos and a crazy-awesome blog entry about our journey, which ought to be up here within the next few days. For now, here's an entry I started typing before we left...

Well folks, crank up the Bon Jovi, because I'm halfway there. I recently passed Day 200 of my trip, which means that I'm officially over the hump and heading downhill toward coming home sometime in August. It's completely insane for me to think that the trip is only half over because it feels like I've been on the road forever, and I'm having a hard time remembering what life was like back in... uhhh... what was it called? America? I think that was it.

To mark this personal milestone, I'm going to do a little something different with this blog, and talk about a bunch of very random topics that have been on my mind over the last 200 days, but haven't squeezed their way into any previous blogs:


You wipe your ass with... what?
I'm not sure if you know this, but a surprising number of people in Asia wipe their ass with their left hand. And although handwashing (often sans-soap) is always an integral part of this undoubtedly messy process, I just don't understand why it happens in the first place. You would think that in the history of civilization, one of the first orders of business—stuck somewhere between the discovery of fire and the invention of the wheel—would be coming up with a way to not wipe your ass with your hand. Am I crazy here?

The White Skin Fee
Coming from the ethnic diversity of America, one of the most shocking things about Asia is that there are almost always different prices for locals (or anyone who looks local) and for us whiteys. Take the Taj Mahal for example, which costs about 40 cents for Indian-looking people and 16 dollars for foreign-looking people. In almost any Asian country, the same situation exists. If I buy a ticket on a bus, it will often cost triple what it costs the person sitting right next to me. If I want a banana at a store, I'm going to pay much more for it than an Asian person would. I suppose this is all fair enough, especially considering the overall economic disparity between Asia and the West. The only thing that's hard for me to mentally overcome is that if this same thing happened in America, you'd get sued. And your business would be over. Forever. Think if you walked into Sears and they had separate pricing for Indian-looking people who wanted to buy a belt sander than they did for European-looking people. People would go completely nuts! There'd be riots in the streets! But at the Taj, everyone just laughs it off. I'm curious to see how the globalized world will change this occasionally maddening aspect of Asia.

The Next World Superpowers
Having spent more than two months in each country slated to be the world's up-and-coming superpowers—China and India—I'd like to give you my perspective on things from a traveler point of view. First off, both countries are tremendously polluted, which will be a really big issue for them to solve with the help of the rest of the world. We all contributed to the mess by moving factories there to capitalize on the cheap labor and lack of pollution controls.

Pollution issues aside, one edge China has over India is it that China is set up for business in terms of infrastructure. If there is one thing that China really does well, it is building train lines, subways, excellent roads, etc. In twenty years, I'm convinced that China will be much more business-friendly than almost anywhere on earth infrastructure-wise. Meanwhile, India is a complete mess. Power goes out all the time, roads are swarming with people and potholes, it takes forever to get anywhere. And it sounds like fixing the problem in India will cause serious economic repercussions: when I was in Delhi, there were riots in the streets because the government was planning to enforce current safety regulations for retail businesses (i.e. not having stuff pouring out onto the sidewalk). It was estimated that up to 50,000 businesses in Delhi alone would be put into bankruptcy after the regulations were enforced. Eventually, the India the Superpower will have to deal with this issue.

On the other side of the coin, a big advantage India has over China is that the people seem to be born businessmen, where the Chinese, broadly speaking, are fairly bad at business. An example which illuminates my point: A Tale of Two Post Offices. In Lhasa, I showed up at the post office and tried to send a package only to find out that nothing could be sent without being wrapped in bubble wrap. Do they sell bubble wrap at the post office? Of course not. They informed me I needed to take the city bus three stops down where they were fairly certain there was a bubble wrap store. In the Calcutta post office, I was told that I needed to have my package stitched up in fabric and sealed with wax before I could have it sent. In a typically Indian way, just outside the post office, there were a few dozen people offering those very services. Indians pounce on businesses opportunities like their life depended on it (it does!), where Chinese people generally don't seem to even notice.

Where do you keep your gun?
A few months ago, after I told a local guy that I was American, he completely seriously asked me where I keep my gun at home. Throughout the last six months, I've met an amazing amount of people who ask me about violence in America thanks in part to our passion for the long-outdated Second Amendment. Unlike America, most countries in the first world (and even the second and third) have really low rates of violent crime and strict gun laws, and most people have a hard time understanding what the hell is going on in America. I definitely agree. Does anyone else find it embarrassing that it is statistically safer in Cambodia than it is in LA? Sure, removing guns might not solve the problem (although historically, it does), our country really needs to get it's you-know-what together in terms of violent crime.

And the Oscar goes to... some movie I've never heard of
I was excited the other day when I checked Metacritic and saw that the Oscar nominees were announced. Cool! I love Oscar season! Alright, let's see, for Best Picture here are the nominees:

Babel - never heard of it
The Departed - never heard of it
Letters from Iwo Jima - never heard of it
Little Miss Sunshine - never heard of it
The Queen - never heard of it

What the hell are these movies? What happened to the good old days of Superman Returns and The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe? Have I been gone that long? The only thing that makes me feel better about being so out of touch is that my parents probably haven't heard of any of the movies either, and they're still in America.

Yes or no? Wobble is not an answer.
In India, when you ask people yes or no questions, one of the most common responses is a strange wobble of the head. The wobble can mean any number of things: yes, no, maybe, or I don't know. So basically, when somebody wobbles at your question, you're no better off than if they just stared blankly at you. Here's a sample wobbletastic transaction:

Do you have beer?
(wobble)
Yes?
(wobble)
No?
(wobble)
Okay... uhh... I'll have a beer... if you've got it.

The same goes for a lot of other countries in Asia. People don't like to be wrong, so they give you definite answers, regardless of whether they know the answer or not. As a result, it's crucial to ask questions like, "which way to the airport" rather than "is the airport this way?"

The Lonely Planet Effect
The Lonely Planet guidebooks are a huge cultural force around the world, but especially in Asia. Each country's guidebook is prepared by 2-5 people or so, and those few people's recommendations often have a staggering effect on the success of hotels, restaurants, and even cities. An author's recommendation in the book is like winning the lottery for many businesses, and it keeps them packed with independent travelers, at least until a new edition comes out. As a result, I've met a lot of fellow travelers who despise the books because of their amazing influence over where people go — I've heard the phenomenon described as the Lonely Planet Highway. With that said, the books are an insanely valuable resource, are very well researched and occasionally hilarious (like LP Cambodia), and are a great tool so long as you don't accept their word as the gospel about a place.

The letter between V and X
Throughout the last few months, I've met thousands of people from of all different races, religions, and countries, each speaking different languages and having different customs. With all this diversity, there are a few things everyone seems to have in common. We all live on a place called Earth. We're all human beings. We all laugh, we all cry. We all get sick, we all heal. For the most part, there's one more thing everyone has in common: nobody likes George W. Bush. For fear of getting carpal-tunnel syndrome, I won't expand on this topic too much, but I will say this: if the President of the United States is supposed to act as an inspiration to the world, he has failed miserably. The world is waiting patiently for 2008.

Hi, I'm Ryan... an architect from Denmark
One of the tough parts about traveling, especially in India, is that you answer the same few questions over and over and over and over and over. What's your name? Where are you from? What do you do back at home? After a while, I started to get bored of telling the truth, so I began to invent little fake personas for myself. Sometimes it gets me into trouble, like this conversation with a middle-aged Indian man at a temple:

Him: Where are you from?
Me: Canada
Him: Canada?! Great! Where in Canada!?
Me: Umm... in a suburb just outside Toronto.
Him: Oh! I love Toronto! I went there last year. What suburb?
Me: Well... it's somewhat near the CN Tower...
Him: Great, great! What do you do in Canada?
Me: I'm a mechanical engineer.
Him: No way! I'm a mechanical engineer too!!!
Me: Oh... man.... that's.... uhhh... amazing....
Him: What kind of stuff do you work on?!
Me: Um, well, I'm still in school.
Him: In Canada?
Me: Yeah... in... Canada....
Him: What classes are you taking?!
Me: I'm just at the beginning, but it's a lot of math so far!
Him: Ha ha! So many math classes!
Me: Yeah, the math is crazy! Ha ha ha!

After that, he introduced me to some of his friends (also mechanical engineers) and I had to fake it for another 10 minutes. After that experience, I've switched back to being Ryan the designer from Denver.

Now, on to a few random lists...

Things I miss:
+ You (awwww...)
+ Playing music with my friends
+ Mexican food
+ The old work gang from EBD
+ My brothers
+ Aimless wandering in the great city of Denver
+ Rocking out on the drums
+ Dr Pepper
+ Hot dogs n' High Life nights at T-Boz's place
+ Chipotle, Noodles and Company, Tokyo Joe's, etc.
+ Going to shows
+ Blokus n' wine nights
+ Parental advice close at hand
+ Lively banter and scrumble sessions with with the Poss
+ Taco Bell
+ Big City Burrito in Ft Collins: super potato on jalapeno cheddar w/ cheese, onions and lots of ranch. Heaven in a burrito.

Things I don't miss:
+ Driving
+ Doing my own laundry
+ Cellphones

Things I hated at first but grew to love:
+ India
+ Squat toilets

Books I've read so far:
+ Platform by Michel Houllebeq
+ Peace Like a River by Leif Enger
+ White Teeth by Zadie Smith
+ Holy Cow: and Indian Adventure by Sarah McDonald
+ Are You Experienced by William Sutcliffe
+ Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell
+ Blink by Malcom Gladwell
+ Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer
+ On Beauty by Zadie Smith
+ Life of Pi by Yann Martel
+ The Lexus and the Olive Tree by Thomas Friedman
+ Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick
+ The Bridge over the River Kwai by Pierre Boulle
+ Less than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis
+ Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
+ The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
+ Motherless Brooklyn by Johnathan Levin
+ Number9dream by David Mitchell

The two books that have really knocked my socks off are Cloud Atlas and Middlesex. The Zadie Smith and Johnathan Safran Foer books were highlights as well.

In heavy rotation on the iPod:
+ Animal Collective - Feels
+ Black Eyes - Black Eyes
+ Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake It's Morning
+ Built to Spill - Perfect from Now On
+ Dave Brubek Quartet - Take Five
+ Dismemberment Plan - Emergency and I
+ Dismemberment Plan - is Terrified
+ Elvin Jones - Dear John C.
+ Green Fuse - D E F
+ Humble Ary - 7" + PST
+ Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American
+ John Coltrane - Ballads
+ Lightning Bolt - Hypermagic Mountain
+ Mates of State - Bring it Back
+ Miles Davis - Kind of Blue
+ Modest Mouse - Building Nothing out of Something
+ Modest Mouse - The Moon and Antarctica
+ Off Minor - Innominate
+ Rainy Day Regatta - Living as we do...
+ Tilly and the Wall - Wild Like Children
+ TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain
+ Why? - Elephant Eyelash

By the numbers:
+ Countries visited so far on the trip: 9
+ Number of different places I've slept: 104
+ Number of those nights spent on public transport: 27
+ Nights spent in monasteries/temples: 5
+ Most people I've seen on one motorcycle: 5
+ Most hours spent consecutively on one train: 40
+ Most hours on a bus: 15
+ Most consecutive days without seeing a cellphone: 24

Well, that about wraps it up for now. I'd really like to thank you guys for following along with me thus far. It has really helped me stay sane knowing that a lot of you guys read this every once in a while. And although sometimes I'd rather cut off my own foot than update the blog, I have enjoyed working on it, and I hope you've enjoyed reading it. Check back in a few days for a full wrap up of Gerni and my adventures in Myanmar, my favorite place I've ever visited.

So on with the next 200 days. Take my hand, we'll make it I swear.

Ryan!